i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
