Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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