gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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