You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need a beard to bite.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
