tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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