jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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