You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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