I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
