I feel like I'm in dance class right now
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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