We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
