All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize