how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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