no, he came in my armpit
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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