I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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