omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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