i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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