there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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