when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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