Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
