You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
