its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He felt like a one man threesome
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
should my penis look like a turkey
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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