there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
