And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
People in love make me want to vomit
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
