How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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