I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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