I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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