So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
