We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
