Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
