How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am naked and annoyed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
