I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
