they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
