she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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