if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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