she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
