My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
