I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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