just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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