you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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