I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
