You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
