She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
