so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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