Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
