We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wish i was in the wii world.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
