wanna go halves on a baby?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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