I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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