Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
