His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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