I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
