you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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