booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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