I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize