'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
