I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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