I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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