It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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