Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
