It was confusing and full of hummus
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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