Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
